Sometimes people, partners or romantic interests will say things to us. On exes, they might say:
“I don’t know if I’m properly over ex yet”
“I”m not over what happened with my ex”
Or perhaps they share their emotional state.
“I do have anger issues”
“Sometimes I just lose it”
Sometimes they say things that suggest they are avoidant, unclear about the future:
“I don’t know what I want from this”
“I don’t know where this is going.”
Maybe they’ve made it clear that they want something casual:
“I’m not really the commitment type”
“I don’t really like being tied down”
They may be reluctant to listen to feedback, insistent that they do not need to, or are willing, to change for anyone else. Things like:
“I don’t think I need to change”
“I shouldn’t have to change to fit in with you”
These are all warning signs. Someone telling you these things is telling you the truth. Believe what they say. If you are looking for commitment and someone says they aren’t, walk away. If they aren’t over their ex and you want them to focus entirely on you, they might not be ready yet, you are asking too much of them, and you will end up feeling hurt and disappointed.
Sometimes we ignore the things in front of us that we really don’t want to believe because we aren’t willing to be intellectually honest with ourselves.
Be honest. Make your decisions based on what you know. Listen to what your partner is saying to you. And believe them when they say those things and decide if you are happy to accept those things. If you are, then fantastic. If you aren’t, then as difficult as it is, you need to walk away.